A Day in the Life of a Lizard

Argyle Wigglesworth, Esq.

After my lights turn on at 7:30 am, I usually start the day by slowly waking up in amongst the foliage of the jade plants in my habitat. Once I've woken up, I saunter over to my sunning branch and warm up my little scaly body. At 8:30, the skies open up and lettuce or carrot tops magically appear in the corner of my house. I run over enthusiastically and sample some of this delectible appetizer. A few moments later, I hear the bag rustle outside -- it's bug time. I run to that side of the glass and wait anxiously - running back and forth in anticipation. Mom comes over and pours the crickets in my bowl. If I feel like hunting - I just wait and she lets a few out a time for me to hunt down with my jungle cat-like reflexes. Otherwise, I just dive headfirst into the bowl and eat them all in one bite. This messy display of gratifying munching often results in a cricket leg being stuck to my face. Mom usually pulls it off for me... After breakfast, I adjourn back to my sunning branch and digest, feeling and looking somewhat like a stuffed sausage.

Later in the morning, Mom lifts me out for playtime - whether I like to or not. We snuggle, look out the window, and then I get to run around the house and explore. I can often be found in the folds of her jacket, peeking out occasionally or by the door. That furnace vent is shifty and needs more exploration. When I start to get cold, Ma puts me back in my house to warm up.

For the rest of the day, I usually just sun myself, toodle around occasionally and basically just sloth around.

Lunch consists of more crickets -YUM.

When the lights go off around 7 pm, I'm usually ready and worn out from an extrenuous day. I curl up in my jade plants again, in whatever position is comfortable, close my eyes, and hibernate until morning for another day of grueling hunting and suntanning...

I'm Baaaack!!!

After a 7 month hiatus - I finally reset my password and am back on line.
So, stay tuned!

Luv,
Dr. L.

Also Introducing...National Monument

Above: Michael, Jay, Andy, Jim, and Al

National Monument: A group of charismatic gentlemen with strange dietary habits whose distinct unadulterated sound and sheer volume will "smack you clean up-side the head". An amalgamation of modern psychedilia with gritty punk - National Monument offers a full-bodied, rich auditory bouquet and a helluva rock show.

http://www.myspace.com/nationalmonument

For all of you Saskatonian types: National Monument will be opening for Mahogony Frog at Amigos on April 29th!!

Above: Jim, Andy Rudolph, and Al

Introducing...The Calculus Affair

Do you love to rock out? Do you love to thrash around your house in an involuntary orgy of musical perversity? Then this is definitely for you!

Who else would have thought to combine Igor Stravinsky with Iron Maiden but three bad-ass punks from Winnipeg? The Calculus Affair Trio consists of (from L-R): Michael Castle, Thomas Kroeker, and Andy Rudolph (yes, my brother, I am proud to say). Any band who describes their sound as "A Mysterious Flaming Sack on the Doorstep of Classical Music" is definitely worth a listen to! Quite frankly, these guys are pure genious. (I'm not kidding. These are the kind of guys who invent advanced mathmatical models for fun.) I sincerely hope you'll take the time and check out their site below.

http://www.myspace.com/thecalculusaffairtrio

"100% Doctor Recommended"!!!

Well, It's Finally Happened...

They finally made a chocolate that was just too damn cute to eat.

Awwww, hell. Who am I kidding?

Regina: The Place That Rhymes With Fun.

I too was once guilty of believing Regina to be nothing more than a one-duck town with poor hygienic standards and a personality complex. True, our water smells like an over-chlorinated swimming pool and tastes like the underside of a rusty trowel. Indeed, we may even have been voted as possessing the Worst Neighborhood in Canada. And yes...we are overcrowded with...(gulp)...Government of Saskatchewan employees. However, beyond it's rough exterior and crummy water treatment facilities lay a small city with the best damn curry and sushi this side of the Atlantic (or Pacific, depending on your point of reference) Ocean. Our parks are not only abundant, but very beautiful. Our main streets lack the characteristic Saskatonian liberal sprinkling of massive potholes. Yes, fair Regina is just "swell" in my book. As a matter of fact, I am willing to sacrifice myself to excruciating public humiliation in order to prove that Regina really doesn't suck as much as it's made out to.

So, sit back, relax, grab some 'corn, whilst I whisk you away on a visual journey of urban redemption...

See? Not bad, eh? These are a few pictures of a park near our Fortress of Solitude. The rock thing is actually a waterfall in the summer. There are loads of parks like this in our area and all over the rest of the city as well. Note the geese in the background - in fall, it's almost tough to see the water for the birds.

Let's talk about food. Regina has some absolutely amazing restaurants. These are just a few of my faves. India House has probably the best curry I have ever had, hands down. Neo-Japonica has an amazing menu -- I highly recommend the pork/asparagus rolls. Yummo! And the Ripplinger Art Gallery / Henry's is great for a light lunch! Afterwords, you may peruse the shops and gallery! A few other great places to eat are Ngok Van, the Chimney, and Zest (at the Science Centre). Oh, and kudos goes to many Reginian entrepreneurs for preserving some of the older beautiful houses in the area instead of demolishing them to make way for brand new buildings!

Okay, I realise that everyone knows about this stuff -- but, these well known attractions are still pretty cool.

The new RCMP Museum is opening late May 2007! The building is pretty wild, if you haven't seen it already.

So, other than schmaltzy tourist attractions, gorging yourself, and running from rabid geese- what else can you do? Oodles. You can get completely blotto by sampling the infinite amount of fine wines at the Crushed Grape. You can get a creamy, delectable, orgasmic white hot chocolate with caramel topping at Atlantis Coffee. (I think we are one of the few cities to not be taken over by Starbucks yet. We've only got one.) While drinking that scrumptious beverage, why not drive out to the Condie Nature Reserve and burn off a few of those devilish calories you've just imbibed? Or, go and play a few rounds of mini golf at the only course I know of with porn-star lighting. On weekends, one could drive for just 45 mins to the Moose Jaw spa and tunnels. Hmmmm....spaa.... Oh, and I almost forgot, during lunchtime, one may find a small group of archaeologists partaking in some anger-management by blowing the crap out of pixellated deer, aliens, and zombies at the Wonderland arcade. For just 3 bucks, you can play all the games you want for an hour. Trust me, you can play a lot of pinball in an hour.

For being in the middle of nowhere on the desolate prairie, I figure that's not too damn bad. Not too damn bad at all, if I do say so myself. Which I do. I hope this little tour d'horizon has satisfactorily whet your appetite. Oh, and there is one more thing-- at least WE have a skyline.

Aloha, Willkommen, Bienvenue, Hola, Etc.

Welcome to our first session. Just relax...this may pinch slightly.

"Hmmm..." I thought, "A blog, eh? Isn't that just a maniacal tool devised for procrastination during thesis writing? .....(sounds of a hamster wheel spinning) ..... Great! Where do I sign up?" And that was the last chapter Ernie ever saw....
Well, I guess I've finally joined the land of computer geekdom along with the rest of my colleagues. Actually, I'm pretty pumped. I'm looking forward to spouting off some inane nonsense on a regular basis. This is great. Finally - a justification for talking to myself.

I'm looking foward to hearing from all of you! I hope you find this blog entertaining, educational, and nutritious. It's been fortified with 8 essential nutrients.

PS- I was just joking about that last chapter thing... Really. No, seriously.