Death to Litterbugs

Warning: This post uses shameful language and was written in a blazing hot, cast iron fit of steaming fury. Well, sort of. I had cooled considerably since - but I was still simmering! Simmering I say! Simmering!

Well. I am depressed.
If you are close to my age, maybe you can associate your elementary school days with being embedded in a proactive environmentalist environment - you know - watching OwlTV in the classroom, learning about reusing and recycling and how important it was to conserve energy, idolizing David Suzuki and thinking that someday you wanted to be just like him...
So,
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? Do they not teach kids this anymore??
The day before yesterday, I went for a walk in the park by my house. In this park, there is a little man-made stream. (In Regina, we take what we can get.) It's really quite nice. I enjoy walking along the big rocks and watching the ducks, etc. But when I went last week, it was teeming with garbage. In particular, slurpee straws and cups, chip bags, and candy wrappers. I often see young teens hanging out there, which is fine you know, whatever - but TAKE YOUR DAMN GARBAGE WITH YOU. I thought hmmm, maybe there aren't enough garbage cans around. So, I did my good deed for the day and picked up all the trash in the stream. I didn't have to walk more than probably 30 ft. until I found a garbage can. So clearly, it's not a question of inadequate sanitation facilities - it's just plain igorance and laziness. (Which I knew before, but was trying to give the benefit of the doubt) Enraged, I started schemeing ways to start a community park clean up (which I'm still thinking about doing). Then, today - I decided to go out for a bite to eat for lunch - whilst eating at this establishment - I saw some young jerk heave his beverage cup away towards a fence in the parking lot. RIGHT AFTER HE PASSED A GARBAGE CAN. I was so annoyed, I started to get up to give 'im what 'fer - but he drove away - in a car worth far more money than mine, by the way (If you've seen my car, you can still laugh).

My question is: Was there some kind of genetic mutation after the early 80's? Was there some kind of anti-environmentalist movement that I slept through? What happened?
I know that littering isn't exactly something new and that there have been ignorant assholes since the dawn of time. (Hmmm...a thesis project, anyone?) But why have younger people become so ambivalent towards 'being green'? I kind of expect cynicism of environmentalist practices from individuals older than myself who maybe weren't engulfed in "Suzukism". But, I would have assumed that the next generation of young punks would have been A: more educated, B: better equipped, and C: more willing to make a difference. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be the case at all. Now, I realise that I am mass-criticising here, which really isn't fair on the non-slob sect. It just seems that even less attention is being paid to the world around them and that if their heads were shoved any further up that place, they could use their tonsils for a pair of reading glasses.

I am fully aware that people older than I am were probably saying the same thing about my generation. I am also fully aware that I sound like an old fart - which scares me a little because I didn't think I would be feeling this way so early on in life. I would have hoped to at least have acquired some early signs of senility and partial deafness by the time this happened.

The next question is: What can we do about it? Has this type of education been pushed to the wayside in schools and now assumed to be common sense? If so, should it be reimplemented? Has the development of "egotistical materialism" in society placed environmental responsiblity on "someone else's" shoulders? How do we instill a sense of belonging and duty to our planet? I know that most of us aren't as Earth-conscious as we should be (and I include myself in that ilk - but I am proud to say I'm improving), but littering is where I draw the line. I just don't understand that type of mentality. And I don't want to.

So, even though it's not our job to clean up other people's trash - I emplore you to take a pledge and pick up at least one piece of garbage everyday. Maybe those around you will learn from your good behavior.

Takin' Out the Trash In Style
Image Courtesy of Today and Tomorrow
( www.todayandtomorrow.net/tag/garbage/)

The Man Who Planted Trees

Hiho! This week in the news: Canadian Animator Frederic Back is Honoured by Hollywood.
I wasn't familiar with his works, so thanks to Google, I was able to watch 'The Man Who Planted Trees' online. I must say, I was very moved by the story and enchanted by the animation. It really is a work of art. Anyway, I wanted to share the film with you - so grab a healthy snack and have a 30 minute break from the hustle and bustle of whatever it is you're doing (i.e. Pounding away on that thesis...) I don't want to spoil the story for you, so I won't tell you anything other than it is about a man who finds serenity and hope in simplicity and nature. A breath of fresh air...

http://www.moviesfoundonline.com/man_who_planted_trees.php

If you would like to read the CBC article on Frederic Back click here.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

To Be Or Not to Be...

O, a holy grail of which I would
Place my tender lips to imbibe
it's sweet intoxicating nectar...

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/theatre/story/2008/08/06/shakespeare-playhouse.html

Yes! Yes! There's More!

For more coiffure entertainment, click here:

http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2006/01/second-annual-myspace-stupid-haircut.html

The First Annual MySpace Stupid Haircut Awards

AAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!
You just HAVE to click. Why? Because I told you to.

http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2004/04/first-annual-myspace-stupid-haircut.html

Pure genious.

World Chess Boxing Organization

This takes 'Fight Club' to a whole new level. When you think about it, they really do go together like peanut butter and jam... I love it.

http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/080716/K071602AU.html

Gab of the Grape: Talkin' Wine with Dr. L.

Finally - an excuse to drink more wine. (Not that I ever needed one in the first place.) My new fav on the wine trolley of love is:

Cono Sur Organic Cabernet Sauvignon

Now, before you gag on the cheese factor of the name 'Cono Sur' - it actually refers to the 'Southern Cone' of South America (basically, the south half of the continent). This saucy little number comes from the Colchagua Valley in Chile.
Besides being complex and rich in taste, this wine is also created in an environmentally friendly atmosphere. Not only is the product organic, but Cono Sur claims to be the first winery to achieve CarbonNeutral status - net zero CO2 emissions on the shipping of their product.
Unfortunately, I couldn't get a picture of the bottle - but check out their website:

http://www.conosur.com/

If you see it in your friendly neighborhood L.B.S. - it's the one with the bicycle on the label. (Not to be confused with Red Bicyclette - which is also pretty good.) I'm also a sucker for cool packaging and this is the only wine I've seen (as of late) that still uses a wax seal over the cork. There is something to be said for a little romantic traditionalism.
Cono Sur recommends serving this wine with any type of red meat, lamb or pate dish. This is definitely the case - however this C.S. is fanastic with a little Montreal Smoked meat and provalone or vegetarian lasagne chock-full of cheese and spinach. It's also really wonderful on it's own - sipping away the evening with good friends, or snuggling up with a good book and a little (or a lot) organic hazelnut chocolate. Escapism at its finest.

Bike Helmets: A Rant

So, you think you look like a tool?

Well, maybe you do.

But, the potential damage could certainly look worse.

The lack of individuals wearing bike helmets is appalling. Although the majority of cyclists are sportin' the dome - there are still many who refuse to wear cranial protection for whatever reason. I have recently noticed that many of these are kids. I understand that people are able to make their own choices - but this blatant refusal to look facts in the face is ridiculous.


I'm even more amazed by the number of children and adults I see wearing helmets improperly. If you're going to wear a helmet: wear it properly. Having the helmet pushed up past your forehead is NOT going to protect your melon if you crash face first. Wikipedia offers a basic explanation as to how your lid should fit:


"The helmet should sit level on the cyclists head with only a couple of finger-widths between eyebrow and the helmet brim. The strap should sit at the back of the lower jaw, against the throat, and be sufficiently tight that the helmet does not move on the head. It should not be possible to insert more than one finger's thickness between the strap and the throat." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_helmet)


For the best results - go to a bike shop and get an attendant to help you find a helmet that will best fit your head. Have them help you fit it in the store before you leave. You may have to try on a few styles, as they all fit a little differently. There really are helmets for all shapes of noggins - you just have to look. The Bicycle Helmet Safety Institute has a list of just about every make and model including fits, fashion, and just about everything you've ever wanted to know about helmets.


Helmets vary dramatically in price - anywhere from around 20 bucks to $200. Unless you're planning on cruisin' the Tour de France - a mid-range helmet is probably best. I think I paid between 50 to 70 dollars for mine and I love it. It's comfy and pretty stylin' too. By paying the few extra pesos- you'll find a helmet with a proper fit, more ventilation, and that is lightweight (which is important if you're going to be wearing it for extended periods of time). Note that more ventilation = less foam = less protection. At the same time, you don't want to swim in your lid, either.

Note that if you damage your helmet or if it has been over five years since you bought it: Replace It!! Helmets are only designed for one good bang (just like some other plastic products) and the materials they are made of begin to deteriorate after five years.


Remember - you only have one brain. So, do yourself a service and protect that little bundle of neurons.

Here are a couple of sites with good information on helmets:
Bike Helmet Safety: http://www.healthunit.org/injury/summer/bikehel.htm
Bicycle Helmet Safety Institute: http://www.bhsi.org/ It's actually worth taking a look at.

Happy Cycling!

Another Haiku by Dr. L.

deep unconsciousness

a quiet oblivion

it is jammy time

An Ode to My Thesis: A Haiku

a twisted mistress

hypotheses convolute

much gnashing of teeth

A Day in the Life of a Lizard

Argyle Wigglesworth, Esq.

After my lights turn on at 7:30 am, I usually start the day by slowly waking up in amongst the foliage of the jade plants in my habitat. Once I've woken up, I saunter over to my sunning branch and warm up my little scaly body. At 8:30, the skies open up and lettuce or carrot tops magically appear in the corner of my house. I run over enthusiastically and sample some of this delectible appetizer. A few moments later, I hear the bag rustle outside -- it's bug time. I run to that side of the glass and wait anxiously - running back and forth in anticipation. Mom comes over and pours the crickets in my bowl. If I feel like hunting - I just wait and she lets a few out a time for me to hunt down with my jungle cat-like reflexes. Otherwise, I just dive headfirst into the bowl and eat them all in one bite. This messy display of gratifying munching often results in a cricket leg being stuck to my face. Mom usually pulls it off for me... After breakfast, I adjourn back to my sunning branch and digest, feeling and looking somewhat like a stuffed sausage.

Later in the morning, Mom lifts me out for playtime - whether I like to or not. We snuggle, look out the window, and then I get to run around the house and explore. I can often be found in the folds of her jacket, peeking out occasionally or by the door. That furnace vent is shifty and needs more exploration. When I start to get cold, Ma puts me back in my house to warm up.

For the rest of the day, I usually just sun myself, toodle around occasionally and basically just sloth around.

Lunch consists of more crickets -YUM.

When the lights go off around 7 pm, I'm usually ready and worn out from an extrenuous day. I curl up in my jade plants again, in whatever position is comfortable, close my eyes, and hibernate until morning for another day of grueling hunting and suntanning...

I'm Baaaack!!!

After a 7 month hiatus - I finally reset my password and am back on line.
So, stay tuned!

Luv,
Dr. L.

Also Introducing...National Monument

Above: Michael, Jay, Andy, Jim, and Al

National Monument: A group of charismatic gentlemen with strange dietary habits whose distinct unadulterated sound and sheer volume will "smack you clean up-side the head". An amalgamation of modern psychedilia with gritty punk - National Monument offers a full-bodied, rich auditory bouquet and a helluva rock show.

http://www.myspace.com/nationalmonument

For all of you Saskatonian types: National Monument will be opening for Mahogony Frog at Amigos on April 29th!!

Above: Jim, Andy Rudolph, and Al

Introducing...The Calculus Affair

Do you love to rock out? Do you love to thrash around your house in an involuntary orgy of musical perversity? Then this is definitely for you!

Who else would have thought to combine Igor Stravinsky with Iron Maiden but three bad-ass punks from Winnipeg? The Calculus Affair Trio consists of (from L-R): Michael Castle, Thomas Kroeker, and Andy Rudolph (yes, my brother, I am proud to say). Any band who describes their sound as "A Mysterious Flaming Sack on the Doorstep of Classical Music" is definitely worth a listen to! Quite frankly, these guys are pure genious. (I'm not kidding. These are the kind of guys who invent advanced mathmatical models for fun.) I sincerely hope you'll take the time and check out their site below.

http://www.myspace.com/thecalculusaffairtrio

"100% Doctor Recommended"!!!

Well, It's Finally Happened...

They finally made a chocolate that was just too damn cute to eat.

Awwww, hell. Who am I kidding?

Regina: The Place That Rhymes With Fun.

I too was once guilty of believing Regina to be nothing more than a one-duck town with poor hygienic standards and a personality complex. True, our water smells like an over-chlorinated swimming pool and tastes like the underside of a rusty trowel. Indeed, we may even have been voted as possessing the Worst Neighborhood in Canada. And yes...we are overcrowded with...(gulp)...Government of Saskatchewan employees. However, beyond it's rough exterior and crummy water treatment facilities lay a small city with the best damn curry and sushi this side of the Atlantic (or Pacific, depending on your point of reference) Ocean. Our parks are not only abundant, but very beautiful. Our main streets lack the characteristic Saskatonian liberal sprinkling of massive potholes. Yes, fair Regina is just "swell" in my book. As a matter of fact, I am willing to sacrifice myself to excruciating public humiliation in order to prove that Regina really doesn't suck as much as it's made out to.

So, sit back, relax, grab some 'corn, whilst I whisk you away on a visual journey of urban redemption...

See? Not bad, eh? These are a few pictures of a park near our Fortress of Solitude. The rock thing is actually a waterfall in the summer. There are loads of parks like this in our area and all over the rest of the city as well. Note the geese in the background - in fall, it's almost tough to see the water for the birds.

Let's talk about food. Regina has some absolutely amazing restaurants. These are just a few of my faves. India House has probably the best curry I have ever had, hands down. Neo-Japonica has an amazing menu -- I highly recommend the pork/asparagus rolls. Yummo! And the Ripplinger Art Gallery / Henry's is great for a light lunch! Afterwords, you may peruse the shops and gallery! A few other great places to eat are Ngok Van, the Chimney, and Zest (at the Science Centre). Oh, and kudos goes to many Reginian entrepreneurs for preserving some of the older beautiful houses in the area instead of demolishing them to make way for brand new buildings!

Okay, I realise that everyone knows about this stuff -- but, these well known attractions are still pretty cool.

The new RCMP Museum is opening late May 2007! The building is pretty wild, if you haven't seen it already.

So, other than schmaltzy tourist attractions, gorging yourself, and running from rabid geese- what else can you do? Oodles. You can get completely blotto by sampling the infinite amount of fine wines at the Crushed Grape. You can get a creamy, delectable, orgasmic white hot chocolate with caramel topping at Atlantis Coffee. (I think we are one of the few cities to not be taken over by Starbucks yet. We've only got one.) While drinking that scrumptious beverage, why not drive out to the Condie Nature Reserve and burn off a few of those devilish calories you've just imbibed? Or, go and play a few rounds of mini golf at the only course I know of with porn-star lighting. On weekends, one could drive for just 45 mins to the Moose Jaw spa and tunnels. Hmmmm....spaa.... Oh, and I almost forgot, during lunchtime, one may find a small group of archaeologists partaking in some anger-management by blowing the crap out of pixellated deer, aliens, and zombies at the Wonderland arcade. For just 3 bucks, you can play all the games you want for an hour. Trust me, you can play a lot of pinball in an hour.

For being in the middle of nowhere on the desolate prairie, I figure that's not too damn bad. Not too damn bad at all, if I do say so myself. Which I do. I hope this little tour d'horizon has satisfactorily whet your appetite. Oh, and there is one more thing-- at least WE have a skyline.

Aloha, Willkommen, Bienvenue, Hola, Etc.

Welcome to our first session. Just relax...this may pinch slightly.

"Hmmm..." I thought, "A blog, eh? Isn't that just a maniacal tool devised for procrastination during thesis writing? .....(sounds of a hamster wheel spinning) ..... Great! Where do I sign up?" And that was the last chapter Ernie ever saw....
Well, I guess I've finally joined the land of computer geekdom along with the rest of my colleagues. Actually, I'm pretty pumped. I'm looking forward to spouting off some inane nonsense on a regular basis. This is great. Finally - a justification for talking to myself.

I'm looking foward to hearing from all of you! I hope you find this blog entertaining, educational, and nutritious. It's been fortified with 8 essential nutrients.

PS- I was just joking about that last chapter thing... Really. No, seriously.